Book Launch Nightmares

By C.L. Beck



Not to do self-promotion here, but … okay, so maybe just a little self-promotion … my co-author, Nichole Giles, and I have our very first book launch coming up on Wednesday, Dec 9, 6-9p at the Barnes and Noble, in Orem, UT. I’m calm about it. No nerves at all. Just nightmares all night long, and dry heaves during the day.

Recently, several of our authors here at the Writing Fortress have held book launches. That's very exciting, and since I've heard horror stories about book launches gone awry, I’d like to offer my jealous envy sincere congratulations to friends who’ve managed to live through one.

Even though I’ve never done a launch before, I have a pretty good idea—due to warnings by friends and the nightmares I've been having—what the top ten worst fiascoes would be for me.

1. The bookstore orders my book and receives seventy copies of "Tales of a Stripper" instead.
2. The bookstore parking lot is closed off for resurfacing at one end and to accommodate the new In and Out Burger at the other.
3. Aaackk! I’ve shown up in nothing but my underwear.
4. I made it there in one piece, I remembered to bring a tablecloth and I'm signing books ... at a table in the restroom.
5. Aw, drat, I forgot a pen and all that’s on hand is a crayon.
6. Umm, I’m sure I knew it once upon a time, but I have no clue what my name is.
7. Cramp, cramp, I have a cramp in both hands.
8. Gas, gas, I have really bad gas. I should not have eaten that double bean burrito.
9. I’m signing two doors down from Sarah Palin.
10. The power has failed and it won’t be on again until morning.

So, wish me luck, dear friends, and if you get a chance, stop by to say hi on December 9 at the Orem Barnes and Noble. I promise I’ll be wearing something more than just my underwear.