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Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Serenity Now!



Happy Gilmore sometimes lacks patience and self-control. When he gets frustrated he punches out game show hosts, throws clubs and attacks alligators but when he needs to focus on an important task like making a winning put, he thinks of his “happy place.” He envisions little people riding stick horses. He lounges on a hammock while his grandmother wins oodles of money at the slot machines. His “happy place” calms him down and helps him focus by regaining a proper perspective about what he wants most.


George Castanza attempted a similar retreat into the happiness of his mind by meditating and calmly saying “serenity now” when he felt distress. He was not quite as successful as Happy. Pity.


As a writer I sometimes feel frustration and perhaps even distress from time to time. Usually, these moments occur as I struggle to remain patient. I have been learning to be more patient with myself as I write and edit, and re-edit and re-edit. Patience is also required during the weeks and even months of waiting during the query process. Then, once the manuscript is accepted it is more waiting, often for a year or longer until the book is released. Although these long, painful delays are a natural part of the writing and publishing process I must remind myself that patience is a necessary attribute for any writer.


The other night we had 2 kids playing in 3 baseball/softball games. My son’s team ended up losing 18-3 but mercifully the game ended early. I watched error after error. I felt like yanking my brain out of my head by the roots of my hair, but instead I sat back, took a deep breath and muttered “serenity now.”


Next I headed over to my daughter’s softball games. This is her first year of softball and the pitchers consistently walk batter after batter, usually allowing the maximum of 6 runs each inning, nearly all runs scored by walks. UGH! Seriously. “SERENITY NOW!”


While I am very proud of my nine year old scoring four times on walks, three hours of watching a double-header gave me a bit of a headache. At moments I sat back and closed my eyes and imagined my “happy place.” I imagined a place where the pitches don’t roll over the plate and the batters occasionally swing. Then I thought of Peanut Butter M&M’s. Mmmm. Then I thought about a plot point in my WIP I’ve been stuck on for a couple of weeks. Then I thought about my hopes for my next release and dreamt about pie in the sky scenarios for wild success. Ahh…”serenity now.”


After calming down I regained perspective on what matters most. I watched and cheered with every new walk and I went crazy every time someone swung the bat. I remembered how thankful I am for my family and the blessing it is to sit in the sun and watch my kids have fun. I reminded myself that proper perspective and patience is critical in every aspect of life. Writing is no different.


Remember, when the agent or publisher has been holding onto your manuscript for three months and you haven’t heard a word from them, “serenity now.” It’s going to be okay. Be patient, go to your “happy place” and keep busy writing on your next WIP. Life is good so don’t stress the wait. "Serenity Now!"

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Who Do You Think You Are?


What voice do you hear when you read this question? A schoolyard bully or maybe even a teacher? Your mother? When I hear this question in my head the first voice I hear is Clint Eastwood. “Who do you think you are, punk?” Can you hear it? It can be abrasive, accusatory and mean. But it doesn’t have to be. James E. Faust once asked the same question and when I hear the question in his kind voice, it takes on a whole new meaning. “Who do you think you are?” I then hear his follow up question, “Who are you really?”

If I hope to be happy, which I do, there must be consistency between my true self and the person I think I am. In other words, perception must meet reality. For example, if I ‘think’ I am the most gifted writer of my generation I will be disappointed every day when I look at the NovelRank or re-read an awkward sentence from my book. I will be frustrated that the masses can’t see the glorious talent laid out before them in the thrilling pages of Defensive Tactics. I will get upset every time someone gives a blog, Goodreads or Amazon review that recognizes a weakness in my work and gives me less than five stars. There is danger in overestimating my abilities and contributions. Likewise, if I underestimate who I am, my skill, talents and positive character attributes, I will wallow in a world of self-doubt, pity and fear. Underestimating myself is not being humble; it’s only being depressing. I should be accurate in my self-evaluation.

First, who do I think I am? Since I’m new to Writing Fortress I’m going to tell you a little about who I ‘think’ I am.

I am a husband. I am a father to four wonderful children. I identify and define myself most by my faith, family, job, hobbies, friendships, and most recently, as a writer. Cedar Fort released my first novel, Defensive Tactics, in August 2010 and I am eagerly awaiting reply on my second. The writing world is a fun new community I am grateful to be a part of, and I’m thankful for Cedar Fort giving me an opportunity. That’s who I ‘think’ I am and I ‘think’ its accurate.

As writers and more importantly as sons and daughters of God, we must be honest, recognizing who we really are, the good, the bad, and the average. Please don’t misunderstand. I don’t have to accept the bad or the average. If I don’t like my reviews or how many copies my book sold I can work, struggle, study and fight to become the writer I want to be. I can rise above the bad or average with practice, patience and perseverance, but I can’t lie to myself. That’s just mental cheating, dishonesty at its worst, and it won’t work.

One last question—who do your characters think they are? Is there a gap between their real selves and their flawed perceptions? It’s a struggle we all face in real life so it only seems fair that sometimes our characters will have to struggle with the same issues in coming to a true and accurate understanding of self.

Through honest evaluation of ourselves as people, and as writers, we allow ourselves the greatest opportunity for personal growth. Who do you think you are?
To find out more about me and Defensive Tactics, please check out my blog.

Steve Westover