Saturday, May 28, 2011


By Christine Thackeray

My daughter came home the other day with a group of friends. One had a red nose and shiny eyes, clear indicators that she was crying. My daughter was planning on spending the afternoon with them but suddenly made up a thin excuse, the other girls left and we were alone.

Like an exploding water balloon, my daughter began to pour out what had happened. Weeks before the girl and her had had a conversation at lunch about gay marriage spurred by a classroom discussion led by a liberally biased teacher. My daughter's friend took the position that homosexuals were an abomination and should be hated for their sin. My daughter said their behavior was a sin but we should love them. In response her friend had let the feelings fester for a few weeks until that afternoon, when out of nowhere she said that my daughter didn't even have a testimony and couldn't be her friend.

While the girl was crying while she said this, my daughter was dry eyed and felt relieved. She spent the afternoon reading, hoping the girl never speaks to her again but they are in the same church group. I'm the advisor. I talked to my daughter this afternoon about loving everyone in our ward family. She says she loves her but now knows she's a complete idiot.

In stories we always have some great ending that makes everything work out but in real life, I can't see it. Any suggestions?


Caledonia Lass said...

Well the thing about teenage girls and discussions like this is this: While they each have their own opinion, they need to be mature enough to accept that of the other person. Your daughter has the opinion of loving the sinner, which is very good of her. Hate breeds hate, we all know that. To hate sinners is not what the Bible tells us.
But my point is, in the end, each has to respect the others opinion whether they agree with it or not. That is the ending that will make things work out. But be sincere about this! Don't just say "I respect your opinion." Feel it! Believe in it and move on. The thing that makes us friends in this world are our differences. The thing that bonds us is respect.

Anne Marie Jenner said...

The difficult thing will be getting the other girl to understand the concept of respecting other's opinions.


Rebecca H. Jamison said...

I've been where your daughter is now, and I agree with her. (The general authorities often say just what your daughter said.) I had a similar experience with this topic in the MTC. I've also been a young women president. Sometimes it just takes time for young women to sort things out. In experiences like this in our ward, I think prayer has worked best for my daughter and me. Young Women are still learning to forgive others and they sometimes need more time than we think.

Christine Thackeray said...

Wow, I know you're right. When things can't be fanangled, PRAYER is the answer. As of yesterday they are still good friends. My daughter said she just pretended it never happened.