Monday, December 7, 2009

Book Launch Nightmares

By C.L. Beck

Not to do self-promotion here, but … okay, so maybe just a little self-promotion … my co-author, Nichole Giles, and I have our very first book launch coming up on Wednesday, Dec 9, 6-9p at the Barnes and Noble, in Orem, UT. I’m calm about it. No nerves at all. Just nightmares all night long, and dry heaves during the day.

Recently, several of our authors here at the Writing Fortress have held book launches. That's very exciting, and since I've heard horror stories about book launches gone awry, I’d like to offer my jealous envy sincere congratulations to friends who’ve managed to live through one.

Even though I’ve never done a launch before, I have a pretty good idea—due to warnings by friends and the nightmares I've been having—what the top ten worst fiascoes would be for me.

1. The bookstore orders my book and receives seventy copies of "Tales of a Stripper" instead.
2. The bookstore parking lot is closed off for resurfacing at one end and to accommodate the new In and Out Burger at the other.
3. Aaackk! I’ve shown up in nothing but my underwear.
4. I made it there in one piece, I remembered to bring a tablecloth and I'm signing books ... at a table in the restroom.
5. Aw, drat, I forgot a pen and all that’s on hand is a crayon.
6. Umm, I’m sure I knew it once upon a time, but I have no clue what my name is.
7. Cramp, cramp, I have a cramp in both hands.
8. Gas, gas, I have really bad gas. I should not have eaten that double bean burrito.
9. I’m signing two doors down from Sarah Palin.
10. The power has failed and it won’t be on again until morning.

So, wish me luck, dear friends, and if you get a chance, stop by to say hi on December 9 at the Orem Barnes and Noble. I promise I’ll be wearing something more than just my underwear.


Tamara Hart Heiner said...

oh, the underwear nightmare. Does it never end?

ANd gas would be terrible, too!

Nichole Giles said...

It's a good thing we have sweet husbands who will look out for us. At least then if we show up in our underwear we can send them to the store to buy us--well, something to put on. I guess even a chicken suit is better than our pearly whites. =)

Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one experiencing this phenomenon.

Nichole (the co-author).

Stephanie Black said...

Good luck, Cindy and Nichole!

Man, what is it with those inappropriately-dressed-in-public dreams? And have you noticed how in your dreams, it never seems illogical that you forgot to put on your clothes?

JoAnn Arnold said...

I chuckled as I enjoyed reading your post, realizing we all have something in common - those stupid dreams that seem so real. I hope none of those dreams come true and that your book launch is a great success.

C.L. (Cindy) Beck, author said...

Tamara, Stephanie, JoAnn and Nichole: Thanks sooooo much for commenting, and for your commiseration about the "showing up in your underwear" dreams. I feel better knowing I'm not the only one.

The only thing worse is dreaming that you can't get your high school locker open and you're shivering too hard to turn the tumblers on the lock ... because you're standing there in your underwear. :)